(laughing–when I shouldn’t)
You know the saying, “When it rains it pours.” These past two weeks it’s been pouring like a typhoon. In a hurricane.
When the phone rang for the third time in a week at 10:00pm (we go to bed at 9:30), I looked at my husband and said, “What next?” It wasn’t even all directly affecting me, him, or my kids. In fact, most of it was stuff happening in our immediate families, our friends, or people around us which only made me feel more helpless. I couldn’t fix the problems, I could only listen. Without burdening you with the details, I’ll just sum it up by saying that the last two weeks have been heavy.
Anyway, last Friday I struggled to come up with something for “Friday Funnies.” If you check back, you’ll find that I never did. That was in part because I was extremely busy that day, but mostly I was just drowned out by the rain.
This morning as I was driving my kids to school, I realized it was Friday Funnies today.
I started to wonder what ever possessed me to want to do this little blog post each week. “Do I really have to search my entire lousy week for something funny?” I wondered. When the better half of my brain answered “Yes!” I started thinking back, which sadly lead to me making a list of everything that had gone wrong.
When I got to last night and the last thing to add to the list, I started laughing. Yes. Laughing. I was sitting in the carpool line laughing at…no one.
Here’s the story.
My middle child — a true, neglected middle child — has been wanting fish for some time now. At a garage sale last November he found a little fish bowl for $2. He happened to have $2, so he bought it and we promptly became the proud owners of two twenty-five cent goldfish.
My son was so excited about his goldfish. He named one Gill (in honor of What about Bob?) and the other Oscar.
Lesson #1: Goldfish and Tropical Fish don’t mix
Lesson #2: Even small fish bowls need to be cleaned — in fact, quite often
My fault again.
Since this little bowl doesn’t have a filter like the 15-gallon tank, it always seems to be dirty and gross, and as I mentioned, things have been a little busy around the house with all the rain going on.
It didn’t take much to figure out that Oscar was dead and Gill was nearly dead because of my neglect — I could barely see Gill through the murky water. Gross. If I had any hope of saving Gill, I had to clean the bowl. But first, I had to dispose of the dead fish.
Lesson #3: Don’t buy fish nets that are bigger than the opening to the fishbowl.
I couldn’t get the square fish net into the round bowl.
The only way to flush Oscar was to dump some of the water into the toilet and hope he would float out easily. He did. Something finally went right. Oscar was flushed to his watery grave.
My son was crying behind me and I turned the briefest second to console him. Mid-pour.
Lesson #4: Don’t turn when pouring fish water into a toilet
Next thing I knew, my son stopped isn’t crying. His face went completely blank. He’s staring at the toilet.
I turned back just as the screaming started.